(Wikipedia)
a there's-sand-in-my-pudding bleat by Davis

Rhetorical questions alert: You know what makes me so mad I want to invent underpants for cattle, just so I can give a rodeo bull a wedgie?  You know what makes me so angry, I just want to soak in a bucket of toxic waste?  You know what makes me so incensed I want to play pin the tail on the donkey with a real donkey?

Well, nothing, actually.  That's excessive.

I am kinda annoyed by something though, and that's all the Nicki Minaj haters who've come out of the woodwork since she joined the judges' panel on American Idol.  (Almost all of whom know the words to "Super Bass," incidentally.)

What I can't respect is all this BS going around that she's unqualified to be a judge.  Look, I'm unqualified to judge.  You're probably unqualified to judge.  Nicki Minaj is qualified.  

The thing I've heard most is "she's got no talent!"  Well...she's created music that has sold almost 4 million CDs and over 14 million singles worldwide -- and that doesn't count the songs she's only a guest on).  She's had a handful of #1 radio hits.  She's been in some of the most amazing videos of the past several years. How many of those things have you done?

One of the arguments is that she hasn't won a Grammy.  Well, neither have Queen...Led Zeppelin...Diana Ross...Jimi Hendrix...and a bunch of other people who'd probably surprise you.  In other words...meaningless.

Misunderstand not: if you don't like Nicki because of her attitude or because of the way she judges or because she wears goofy wigs, I can respect that.  But if you're having one of those Idol conversations in your office and someone takes a shot at Nicki because she's not qualified?  Do me a favor and punch them in the throat.  You can even tell them it's from me.