a we're-done-as-a-society rant by Davis
Taco Bell, you disappoint me.
I love your inexpensive Mexi-food products that fill me with delight. I enjoy the concept of "Fourthmeal." I, like the rest of the world, said "Yo quiero Taco Bell" with the chihuahua.
But now, I am filled with shame (served in a tortilla and then smothered with nacho cheese and wrapped in a chalupa). You see, Taco Bell has given in to The Great Vegetable Conspiracy. They have pulled their ad from The Big Game (tm) pimping their 12-pack of taco goodness. The voiceover in the ad said that bringing a vegetable tray to a party is "like punting on fourth and one." It also said that people secretly hate guests who bring vegetables to parties.
Here's the thing: it's true!
I get it -- if you're having a Big Game (tm) Party, you've gotta have some celery for the buffalo wings, and it's SOP to put a few carrots out on the table. But if you're coming to my house for the game and you bring a vegetable platter for the potluck, you will be shunned. It's like wearing white after Labor Day -- it's just not done.
The Bell ran for the advertising border after The Center for Science in the Public Interest asked people to tweet their dissatisfaction with the ad for discouraging people from eating vegetables. "We didn't want anyone to misinterpret the intent of the ad," said a Taco Bell spokesman.
This just in: Taco Bell serves vegetables! I know that tomatoes are technically a fruit, but close enough. And there's lettuce and onions and corn! Corn!
Oh, Taco Bell. I will continue to stuff my face with your tortilla-based wares, but forget not who you are: the place where it became okay to have a taco shell made from Doritos. Don't get all weak-kneed on us now when we need you most.