Ah, the magic that is Facebook. People will post thinking their words have no consequence, and then… fights break out. Amid cheesy insults and unfortunate grammar, the wonderfulness that is Facebook Fite Theatre was born. As always, if you see a lovely gem cross your newsfeed, be sure to send it to us. Names will, of course, be changed to protect the… well… not so innocent.
TRINA: So this guy at the Mobil station just asked me for my number and said I have a nice body. Some people are so creepy and weird. Why would a stranger say I have a nice body? Why can't people just mind their own business. I don't need a creepster telling me I have a nice body. Guys can be such pigs!
DERRICK: Not to sound like a jerk but… Be glad someone is telling you that you look good. You're not getting any younger honey. Why is it when a guy gives a woman a compliment, he is considered creepy? Are you really that offended that some guy said you have a nice body?
TRINIA: Wow Derrick! You don't sound bitter or anything. I don't care what you think. You're just mad cuz I turned your ugly ass down. You couldn't even keep a job at Target. I mean, who gets fired from Target? And one other thing Derrick. Everybody thinks you smell gross. You might wanna do something about that. You're a grown man. You really should start showering and brushing your teeth. Just saying
DERRICK: For the record, I quit Target. They did not fire me. I can't believe you brought that up publicly. At least I'm not a 40 year old druggie!!!
TRINA: Derrick, you will always be know as the kid who pooed his pants in school. You were a loser than and a even bigger loser now. I might like doing drugs but at least I'm not known for being the guy that pooed his pants. I'd rather be known as a druggie.
